It’s hard isn’t it? Like really, really hard?
My husband and I got married in August and I found out I was pregnant in October with our first baby. I was super excited and super clueless as to what that really meant.
Scott and I began our marriage with the conviction to let God lead in our family planning but little did we know that I would be super sick with a condition called hyperemesis which basically means you throw up throughout your entire pregnancy. I was hospitalized with the first ones and given IV fluids. Even though it was really tough we continued to let God lead in family planning and I found out I was pregnant with our second child when our first was nine months old.
I was terribly sick again but continued to meditate and focus on verses about laying my life down for those that I love. And the one about how unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies it does not produce life. Unfortunately for me pregnancy does feel like dying but it also brings forth beautiful life.
I remember throwing up in my bathroom with my 10-month-old baby, Rhea, sitting next to me crying and me looking at her in the eyes in between puking sessions telling her I loved her and trying to keep a smile on my face.
I got pregnant again when my second child was nine months old. I was obviously terrified. I got through those next nine months lying on the couch and delivered our wonderful third child, Johnny, on June 17th 2010, seven days after my mother’s death.
I had three children three and under and I was dealing with the grief of my mother dying from a heart attack. Not an easy time. Continue reading Dear Mama Of All Littles