Rebuke. Our flesh hates that word.
Coddle. Comfort. Encourage. Compliment. Our flesh likes those words!
Rebuking is loving though. Rebuking can be even more loving than comforting or encouraging because those we truly love receive not just compliments from us but the truth spoke in love from us.
God gave us our husbands for many reasons and I think one of the best reasons is to help refine us. The Holy Spirit can use our husbands in our lives to make us more like Christ, IF WE LET HIM.
My husband has helped me SO MUCH in my weaknesses. Even though my flesh hates it, my spirit rejoices in knowing how God is using him to refine me.
Maybe you talk too much. (ahem, that would be me). Maybe your husband has told you that you dominated conversation somewhere and your flesh flared up and you defended your flapping lips by saying something like: “People like what I have to say!” and then you call your best friend that doesn’t have the guts to tell you the truth and so she coddles you and tells you: “No! You don’t talk too much.” And then you proceed to ignore your husband’s counsel only to continue in your conversation-dominating ways.
Maybe you waste too much time on the internet and your house is losing out because of it. Maybe your husband has shared with you that he has noticed your priorities seem out of order and you get super defensive and offended saying he doesn’t appreciate how hard you work when all the while in the back of your mind you know you aren’t prioritizing keeping the home and he is totally right.
Maybe you are wasteful and your husband wants you to be more accountable with your spending…so you start to hide purchases from him rather than admitting you are buying more of what you want rather than what your family needs.
Maybe you’re a little dramatic and constantly complaining to him about other people so he tries to point out good things about the very people you are wanting to trash talk and rather than thank him you get upset and go and vent to someone else.
Maybe you worry too much. Maybe you are a total freak when it comes to your kids being sick and your husband is just trying to help you look on the bright side. Rather than thanking him you yell at him and tell him he doesn’t care about the children.
Maybe your relationship with your children is suffering because of your anger or lack of affection toward your children or any other number of things you do or don’t do. Maybe your husband tries to give you some counsel on how to love them better and you proceed to point out all of the ways he’s failing as a father.
There are SO MANY THINGS that we need to work on and change in order to be more self-controlled, God-honoring women. Who better to help us in this than the man who sees us day in and day out in the raw?! Who better to help point out where we can grow than the man who is best acquainted with our weaknesses?!
No, it’s never fun to hear about ways we may be “failing” or struggling in… but this life isn’t all about us never facing the truth. God wants to walk with us in our journey toward Christ-likeness and He wants to use our husbands to help us in this journey! Don’t inhibit what God wants to do through your husband. Pray for humility and a heart to grow more than a heart that wants to walk in pride and never be challenged.
Proverbs 9:8-9 could be written like this for us as wives: “Do not reprove a scoffer, or she will hate you; reprove a wise woman, and she will love you. Give instruction to a wise woman, and she will be still wiser; teach a righteous woman, and she will increase in learning.”
The opposite could be true too:
A scoffing wife hates her husband. When you reprove her she will reject your reproof. When a husband seeks to give instruction to an unwise wife she will refuse to be wiser and she will continue to decrease in her learning…
Don’t be a scoffing wife. Be a righteous, wise wife who considers her husband’s counsel…even when it hurts!