Scott and I really struggled with the decision on how many children to have. I think it is a bigger decision than deciding who you will marry. Let me explain. Who you marry will affect many (especially yourself) but how many children you choose to have determines if someone is born! And if you decide to let that someone be born then you are deciding for generations of others to be born! That is insane. That is scary. That is sobering. And yet, so many flippantly decide to stop having children because, quite frankly, “they’re DONE!”.
I remember vividly standing in the kitchen doing dishes when Scott and I were in the middle of deciding to have a vasectomy reversal or not and I said to the Lord: “I just don’t feel like I am wise enough to decide if and when life should come into this world.” That was a turning point for me…
I have what is called hyperemesis, you can read about it here. Basically I am ridiculously sick throughout my entire pregnancy. I puke… A LOT and I am always nauseous, up till the moment they come out (I puke even through out labor). This is difficult. When Scott and I got married we said we would let God plan our family… that was before I had ever been pregnant and experienced what felt like death… ironically while my body was producing life!
After that first pregnancy I was terrified to get pregnant ever again! “I can’t keep doing this!” I thought. “How am I going to home school and have kids back to back and be sick 24 hours a day?!”
Fear and human rational took over and Scott got a vasectomy. We never really felt perfect peace about it but we didn’t see the alternative as a possibility… at the time.
Then we moved to a new town and became part of a new church with some families that let God plan their families and we were convicted… again. We really felt there would be a lot of support here if we chose to have the reversal and so we did!
Charis (pronounced: care-is…sounds like Paris with a C) was born in February of 2013 (14 months after the reversal). Her name means grace and we really do see her as God’s grace in our lives. She is the first of our reversal babies. Right now I am pregnant with our third reversal baby!! My pregnancies have gotten better since I have tried many different things to find what works best to combat the nausea. I am still nauseated 24 hours a day through out the whole pregnancy but I only throw up a few times. One of my very favorite mornings is when I wake up after having a baby and I don’t feel nauseated! Best ever!
So thankful that we were able to reverse our decision and we are excited to meet whatever children the Lord decides to bless us with! I can’t believe that sweet little Charis, Chloe and Noah wouldn’t be here if we had stuck with our initial decision!
Feel free to message me or comment with any thoughts or questions. I know this is a sensitive subject and my goal is not to offend but to encourage those who are considering reversing their decision.
Look at my beautiful reversal babies below! Can’t believe we almost gave them up. (I am sure I will flood my blog with pictures of Noah, our 3rd reversal baby, soon enough. He is due the end of July 2016).
If you liked this post be sure to check out “Why Back To The Future Made Me Want More Kids”.