10 Ways To Be A Miserable Church Member

#1 Forget that your pastor is a sinner. Yep. Dwell on the fact that he is not perfect as often as possible and make sure to meditate on all his faults.

#2 Forget that the entire leadership is made up of sinners. While you are thinking about all your pastor’s weaknesses be sure to look for all the weaknesses in all the leadership. Criticize their every decision and talk to others, but don’t ever go to them with your concerns.

#3 Forget that your brothers and sisters in Christ are all sinners. This is a really important one. Go to church expecting everyone to be perfect. Get really upset when someone doesn’t notice you or someone offends you. Then leave the church and tell people you don’t go to church because it’s filled with hypocrites.

#4 Forget you are a sinner.  Like numbers one through three instruct, focus on everyone else’s faults, but do your best to forget about anything you do wrong. And since you’re perfect nobody should ever wrong you. Expect the most out of everyone except yourself and get really angry when people don’t live up to your standards.

#5 Don’t be involved, but then complain that you don’t know anybody, and make sure to point out how your church is filled with cliques. This one is SURE to make you miserable! Make sure you are involved in the least amount of activities and events, but then make complaints like, “Nobody ever says hi to me” or “Nobody knows me.”Consistently whine about all the cliques in your church and how impossible it is to get to know anyone.

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#6 Get upset every Sunday about the music. Church bodies all over the world are divided over music; you can easily use this area to make yourself miserable. Make sure you criticize every song the music leader chooses and make fun of him if he makes a mistake. Bemoan how hard it is for you to listen to the hymns (if you don’t like hymns) and whine about how lame the contemporary songs are if you don’t like those. Be sure to do this with the leadership constantly. Forget about the fact that there is only one instance recorded of Jesus singing (and even then it was only one song), but make sure the music in your church is one of THEE most important issues.

#7 Don’t ever invite people over to your house. Then be sure to get really upset that no one ever invites you over.

#8 Wait around for the leadership to do everything, and complain about all of your ideas that aren’t followed immediately. Come up with things your church SHOULD be doing, but don’t do it yourself and get really angry when your pastor says, “That sounds like a great idea! Why don’t you go ahead and head up that ministry?” Never offer to help serve in the areas you see there is a need.

#9 Only come to Sunday morning service and then get mad because you and your family aren’t “growing.” Be sure to get angry that your church body (the pastor in particular) is not meeting your family’s spiritual needs when you only come to one service a week (maybe less) and are not looking for other ways to grow.

#10 Forget that the local church body is about Jesus and not you. This is THE MOST IMPORTANT AND VITAL WAY TO BE MISERABLE in your local church body. Forget that the church is for Christ and His honor, glory and purposes and make it for your honor, glory and purposes! Make church all about you!

Have you checked out my husband’s book, Marriage God’s Way?

Published by

Katie LaPierre

My husband, Scott LaPierre, is the pastor of Woodland Christian Church and the author of Marriage God's Way: A Biblical Recipe for Healthy, Joyful, Christ-Centered Relationships. We have six wonderful children.

18 thoughts on “10 Ways To Be A Miserable Church Member”

  1. Wow this is a great post! It’s so true! For the 20 years I’ve served God in the same church I raised all my kids we’ve run into so many obstacles of complaining when things die down or get upset when people aren’t happy with the way the church is ran. Communication is the key to happiness in a church family! Communicate your feelings! If you don’t like the music be a part of music ministry and respectfully give ideas and burdens to our music director 😍 Involve yourself in the work of God ! If your not a part of the solution then your a part of the problem. Complaint only plants the seed of bitterness. The things you do in secret for the kingdom God will reward openly. Even if it’s cleaning the church while praying. I love this post. Thanks for sharing Katie ! Nothing wrong with venting your feelings to a trusted friend when church concerns arise. But go to them with a burden not a hottie spirit Of gossip, make sure those people love your soul! Then do something about your problem or at least try with a Christ attitude. Church should be fun! 😍 Happy Sunday all 😘

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  2. No 8, when somebody came with any ideas especially something thought out for the pastor to do more, our motto is: see the need fill the need. That surely stops them in their tracks.

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  3. Very well said !! Have you ever thought, Of trying to be the Shepard of many people, That have untamed tongue’s !! We need to stop the Tongue’s !! And the Communication’s will make us Love one another so much more !!

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  4. Another of my favorites: when asked if you are willing to participate in ministry say “YES!” When the time comes to actually do it, trot out an excuse. We pay the pastor to do ministry, right?

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  5. recently we were asked to leave the church we had been members for that last ten years The reason our son was pulled down a set of bleachers gave another child [on the way down] a bloody nose. To their eyes this is fighting and should be disciplined. Instead I took him to the er and then on to another hospital to have his shoulder reduced and surgery on his collar bone. When we wouldn’t stand up and beg forgiveness from the church family we were asked to leave. But after reading this I realize that they did us a favor as they are all pretty much like you described . Thank you

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  6. Well said and sadly true. Have experienced all some as a congregant and some as a Pastor’s wife. Hardest title I have ever held. I pray I never forget that my husband is answering God’s call on his life regardless of these challenges. Thank you for sharing.

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  7. Add this too. 11. Never open and read the Word of God daily chapter by chapter and askGod in
    Jesus name to have the Holy Spirit to lead guide direct and touch you for understanding while read and study thr bible.

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  8. I’m at a small military church in Germany, unfortunately the list applies here too. Well said. I praise God for saints who focus on serving and worshiping God.

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