4 Ways To Show Your Husband You Appreciate Him

 

Appreciation

 

Say it.

Sound too simple? It is, but very few practice it! Some of us are more verbal than others. Did you marry a man who loves to HEAR your appreciation for him? Then speak your appreciation. I don’t know what it is but for some women it’s like pulling teeth to get them to SAY “Thank you Honey! I really appreciate how you….” or “I am so blessed to be married to you because…” Is it because maybe these women were not verbally loved on growing up? Or maybe it’s just not how they receive love so they don’t give it that way? Whatever it is, if your husband lights up when you speak words of gratitude then you need to learn the art of speaking words of gratitudeWe need to remember that we are what we practice. If we don’t practice what is uncomfortable, then will we never grow.

Show it.

Does your spouse love a good meal? Does he enjoy when the kitchen is cleaned up to perfection? Does he love when you wear your hair a certain way? When we SHOW our spouse our appreciation through our actions it speaks volumes! So the next time he does something you appreciate (or maybe just for fun!) show him your appreciation through a specific action that he craves!

Praise him in front of the kids. 

Our children should be witnessing our appreciation for their daddy. This is another form of communicating that doesn’t come naturally to me. I am more of a server than a communicator. But I have made efforts to grow in this area because I believe it is SUPER important. Too many children are having their ears filled with all the things that daddy does that annoys mommy or all the things that daddy doesn’t do right or all the ways that daddy is letting mommy down. If you are doing this then you are tearing your house down with your words. Here are some things to say instead: “Isn’t daddy wonderful? He takes good care of us and goes to work every day to make sure he is providing for us!” “Isn’t your daddy funny?” “Your daddy sure blesses us with his wisdom.” “Aren’t you glad that out of all the daddies in the world God picked this one to be yours!” “Mommy is so blessed to be married to daddy because he….”

Learn your husband.

One very special way to communicate love and appreciation to those around us is to learn them, to seek to understand them, to truly know them. It says: “You matter to me. What you desire is important to me and I will make every effort to learn how you feel appreciated.” Maybe one or two of the ways listed above really seem like ways that your spouse would feel appreciated. Or maybe 1-3 didn’t seem like ways your spouse would feel appreciated. What way does say “I appreciate you” to YOUR husband? Do you know? Maybe one of the three above does say “I appreciate you” to him but he hasn’t let you know… or maybe, he doesn’t even know it himself! For example, Scott praises me often in front of the kids and I would have had no idea how much that would minister to my heart or makes me feel appreciated unless he did it. It wasn’t an action that I knew I craved until he started to practice it. Experiment. Try these different things out and look to how your husband responds. Pray for the Lord to open your eyes to understand your man better so that you are better able to show him appreciation. Not necessarily because he always deserves it but because how you treat your spouse is a reflection of your relationship with Christ (a quote from my husband’s book) and it is ultimately out of your love for Him that you respect, honor, love and appreciate your husband.

Have you checked out my husband’s book, Marriage God’s Way?

 

My 6th Birth Story

I have now delivered a precious little baby six times. You would think: “Six times! She’s got it down!” Nope. It’s never easy. In fact, it seems almost worse because I had five other times to remember how hard it was…and next time, Lord willing, I will have six memories🙂

birth story

At about 30 weeks pregnant I started swelling. That was a new “pregnancy symptom” for me. Honestly, when women used to talk about swelling in pregnancy I didn’t think it sounded like a big deal. It does now. Mine was so bad my feet started to crack and I felt like my calves were going to burst open! Miserable. The only solution was to lay around (which I hate) and elevate my feet. On the days that I wouldn’t do this my swelling was like a bajillion times worse.

A couple weeks after the swelling started my blood pressure began increasing and so of course the scary word: preeclampsia started to be tossed around. The annoying thing was that this increased my anxiety which increased my blood pressure. It also increased at bedtime. Parents know what I am talking about! One night after a frustrating bedtime adventure my blood pressure was 154/100! I eventually handed bedtime every night off to my husband and took an epsom salt bath while he dealt with our dehydrated philosophers that needed a hug. Continue reading

Don’t Live Within Your Means

We don’t live within our means. We could be spending a lot more money than we do. Our means, the amount in our savings, says: “go ahead and live a little” but in my husband’s wisdom he admonishes us as a family to save more rather than spend more. Future generations will reap what we sow.

We have plenty of money in savings because we:

  1. Don’t go out to eat more than once a month and we pretty much never go out to coffee.
  2. Plan very few trips. In fact, we hardly leave our house. I had been looking for a particular sippy cup for weeks. I went out to the van and saw it was there! Guess it had been a while since we had gone anywhere🙂 Going places usually means spending money even if it’s only on gas. I must admit that we have more freedom in this because we live downtown, next to our church, the library, parks and family.
  3. Rarely buy new clothing.
  4. Only get one nice gift for the kids on their birthday. (What a waste so many toys can be!)
  5. Paid off our mortgage! Talk about making it easier to save money!
  6. We really try not to waste food…. or anything for that matter.

Here is a link with more of our tips on saving!

You see, just because you have the money to:

  • Go on more trips
  • Buy more toys
  • Go out to dinner often
  • Purchase new clothes etc.

Doesn’t mean you have to. Don’t spend money just because you have it. Buy what you NEED not what you WANT and then later in life you can buy what you want not just what you need without the guilt!

spendmoney

Too many are living outside of their means in the other direction. They spend money they don’t have and wonder why they are constantly struggling financially. I have also seen people get out of debt and then think that gives them the liberty to spend their money any way they please only to find themselves in debt again or living paycheck to paycheck.

My husband is fulfilling one of his dreams to publish a book! It should be available on amazon.com sometime at the end of the month! We are all very excited and it has been such a joy to be able to invest in this dream of his without having to worry about the money we are putting into it because we have plenty saved up. Another huge benefit of living like this is we are better able to give!

Please don’t think we have plenty in savings because we make lots of money🙂 We have been single income our whole marriage (except for a few months that I did substitute teaching) and my husband went from being a public school teacher to a pastor… neither of which are known for their high income🙂

Not sure how to live within a budget?! Dave Ramsey can help! Click here. 

Lastly, every human should watch this. It cracks me up and it’s so true!🙂

So save up your money and then save more! Don’t live within your means. Live below your means and watch your savings grow.

contentment

Have you checked out my husband’s book, Marriage God’s Way?

My Favorite Quotes On Homemaking

Sometimes I need extra encouragement in my career as a stay at home mom. Sometimes I need extra motivation and vision and focus…especially on Mondays🙂

It is important we view being at home as a career ladies! The Lord and our husbands are our employers. How are you doing with your time? How seriously are you taking your profession?

I wanted to share some of my very favorite quotes on homemaking and I pray they encourage you in your calling from God as a homemaker!

homemaking

“Mothers, don’t let anyone ever dupe you into thinking there’s anything ignoble or disgraceful about remaining at home and raising your family. Don’t buy the lie that you’re repressed if you’re a worker in the home instead of in the world’s workplace. Devoting yourself fully to your role as wife and mother is not repression; it is true liberation.” -John MacArthur


“The world has enough women who know how to hold their cocktails, who have lost all their illusions and their faith. The world has enough women who know how to be smart. It needs women who are willing to be simple. The world has enough women who know how to be brilliant. It needs some who will be brave. The world has enough women who are popular. It needs more who are pure. We need women…who would rather be morally right that socially correct.”
-Author unknown

“What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow.”

 -Martin Luther

“Oh that God would give every mother a vision of the glory and splendor of the work that is given to her when a babe is place in her bosom to be nursed and trained! Could she have but one glimpse in to the future of that life as it reaches on into eternity; could she look into its soul to see its possibilities; could she be made to understand her own personal responsibility for the training of this child, for the development of its life, and for its destiny,–she would see that in all God’s world there is no other work so noble and so worthy of her best powers, and she would commit to no others hands the sacred and holy trust given to her.”– J.R. Miller

“The career of motherhood and homemaking is beyond value and needs no justification. It’s importance is incalculable.” -Katherine Short

Have you checked out my husband’s book, Marriage God’s Way?

7 Ways To Always Be Offended

It seems some of us wake up looking for ways to be offended. I know I struggle with it! Here are the 7 ways I have found that make it quick and easy to be offended.

offended

1. Insist that EVERYONE view the world through your eyes. Forget that everyone is different. Forget that everyone comes from a different back ground and are at different places in life. Insist that they see everything from your point of view.

2. Don’t be open to any opinion that differs from yours. Especially ones that you can only back up with: “This is what I have always believed” or “this is how I was raised”. If you do this you will surely succeed at being offended. Refuse to be teachable.

3. Take every difference of opinion personally. Tell yourself that everyone is out to get you and the fact that they see things differently is because they hate your guts and are on a mission to ruin your life.

4. See it as your main goal in life to change the views of others. Scratch this verse out of your bible: “make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands.” (1 Thess. 4:11) Instead make it your ambition to lead a loud life, never minding your own business or working with your hands. Make it your ambition to get all people to conform to your opinions. Continue reading

I’m Not Ready To Be A Mom

I woke up this morning to a sweet text message from my husband thanking me and the kids for our patience with him while he is working on his book. Since the book is separate from his work for the church body here, he has to work on it on his day off and very early mornings and late evenings and that means we don’t get to see him very much. On top of that I am swelling up like a blow fish this pregnancy, nauseated around the clock, suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome and feeling large and unattractive and stressed.

notready

My husband is like my rock. He is steady and strong. I depend on him a lot, especially when I am overwhelmed. Not having him around has been even harder in these last few weeks of pregnancy (I am due July 22nd) but I wouldn’t have it any other way because I am so excited about this book and how God will use it to strengthen marriages! I am also thankful that it will be done before our little Noah gets here since I also struggle with postpartum depression/anxiety and I will need him even more then. Continue reading

Why Our Family Doesn’t Say The Sinner’s Prayer

sinnersprayerThere is a message out there in modern day Christianity that screams: “You must have a day and time that you ‘invited Jesus into your heart’ to know when you were officially saved.” But according to Christ, what we MUST do is be born again (John 3:3-7). We must be a new creation in which there is evidence of the old passing away and God making all things new. That’s what I want to teach my kids.

I remember at the age of 19 knowing the Holy Spirit was working mightily in my life… calling me out of this world and beckoning me to become a true child of God. I answered His call and I was born again. I never said the sinner’s prayer. I simply repented and turned from my old life to my new life in Christ.  I don’t recall an exact time and place that I “officially became a Christian.” But I know that I am born again.

Children are fickle and the bible says foolishness is bound up in their hearts (prov. 22:15). I have been at many vbs programs where the children “come forward and say the sinners prayer” and it’s a lot of the same children that came forward the year before… are they getting saved again? That is one of the dangerous pitfalls in circles that I have seen where the sinner’s prayer is mandatory. So much confidence wrapped up in a few words. This man testifies to those sorts of dangers here. So much confidence wrapped up in a few words. Continue reading

5 Ways To NOT Hate Your Husband

wedding

Scott and I on our wedding day! We were married August 5, 2006.

Scott and I will be married for 10 years this coming August! 10 wonderful, stretching, growing, fun, exhausting, loving years.

Around our anniversary I often contemplate where we are at in our marriage and what I need to work on. We should never stop looking for ways to grow as a spouse and to be more of what God has called us to be.

5wayhusband

My anniversary also makes me look at the marriages around me. Especially the ones that have been married many more years than us. They seem to fall into one of two categories: either sweet, comfortable, safe and loving or bitter, apathetic and cold.

We are daily laying the groundwork for what kind of marriage we will have in 5, 10, 20, 30 years. We are deciding daily through our thoughts and actions if we want to grow to be better spouses or bitter spouses.

How would you describe your marriage? Is it cold? Are you more like roommates than lovers? Do you offer a safe place for your spouse to come to when discouraged or hurting? Are you united, living as one flesh? Are you bitter and angry or content and thankful? 

None of us WANTS to be in a bitter marriage but unfortunately many of us find ourselves in one. I want to share with you five things that will help you to not be bitter in your marriage and hate your husband.

5 ways to NOT hate your husband:

1. Remember that marriage was never about you and your happiness. Marriage has always been for something much bigger and greater than your happiness. As we yield to God’s work in our hearts through marriage we are able to be sanctified and become more like Christ. Marriage is for Him and His glory, not you and your wants.

2. Focus on your faults, not his. Too many women are bitter because they take all their husband’s faults/annoying habits and put them under a microscope. They study their husband’s faults like a student studying to become a lawyer. They wake up daily and are irritated before their feet even hit the floor in the morning because their mind is filled with everything their husband does wrong.

3. Don’t try and change him. You know how hard it is to change you right? I mean, how many of us want to be more gentle, more forgiving, have more self-control etc? All of us. We all want to grow and change. If it’s hard for you to make yourself change how much harder is it to change someone else? As much as we want to be in control of our husbands and their behavior, we are not. We are not the Holy Spirit. The less we seek to change our spouse the happier we will be.  Continue reading

If My Child Ever Says: “I’m Gay”

ifmy child

The other day on Facebook one of my friends shared a video and the caption read: “‘What did you think when I told you I was gay?’ Some laughs and hugs are shared between fathers and their kids.”

The video was heartwarming and sweet… and filled with the way my flesh would want to respond if my child ever said: “Mom, I’m gay.” But I don’t live by the flesh.

“So I say walk by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh craves what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary the flesh. They are opposed to one another.” Galatians 5:16-17

You see, it breaks my heart to picture having that conversation with my child because my flesh wants to respond like these parents did saying things like: “Just be who you are.” or “I always knew you were gay, I’m glad you are finally coming out and letting everyone officially know.” or “It’s your choice.”

But here’s the deal, if my child came to me and said: “Mom, I’m a liar and I am going to fully accept that and embrace it because it’s how I was born.” or “Mom, I am a thief, always have been always will be and there’s no sense fighting it any longer.” or “Mom, I’m a drunk. I crave alcohol day and night and I’m tired of struggling against it. It’s time for me to come out as the drunkard I am and be proud of it!” If one of my children said anything like that to me I would be crushed because what they are saying to me is: “Mom, I am no longer going to fight my flesh or live by the Spirit. I am going to fully gratify my fleshly desires and everything it craves. I no longer will die to self and seek to walk by the Spirit. I am choosing to not live for Christ but for myself. ”  Continue reading

Why I Wear A Head Covering

why i wear

I have been wearing a head covering to “public worship” for about 4 years now. I have been a Christian for 13 years. I was not raised Christian and I definitely wasn’t raised around women who wore head coverings.

When I became a Christian I remember reading 1 Cor. 11 and wondering: “Why don’t women still wear head coverings? If God says it is dishonorable for women to have their head uncovered (verse 5) then shouldn’t what He considers dishonorable be important to us?” The fact that it was in the new testament carried a lot of weight with me too in that it wasn’t under the old covenant, this was a new covenant guideline.

The argument I often/almost always heard was: “it’s a cultural thing.” Since when is a Christian called to do what culture dictates? Don’t we allow the Word of God to direct our lives/decisions?

I moved to WA about 5 years ago. When we came there was one family here that had a couple of the ladies wearing one. It intrigued me. So I asked them about it and how they came to that conviction. Fast forward a few months and I am on the phone with a friend that went to a church where there was a woman teaching pastor. I asked her: “How can you choose to go to a church where a woman is teaching men when the bible clearly teaches that shouldn’t happen?” (1 Tim. 2:12) Her response: “I’ll give you the same reason that you would give me for why you aren’t wearing a head covering, it’s cultural.” Oops. Can’t argue with that. She was letting the current culture, which says women should be able to teach men, dictate that it was okay for women to teach men just as I was letting the current culture decide whether or not I needed to wear a head covering. I was convicted and on a mission to figure out once and for all if God wanted women to wear head coverings and if He did, I would do it.

Let’s look through 1 Cor. 11 together. Some of the information here was taken from a helpful website you can see by clicking here. Continue reading