Contentment. Wow. Such a beautiful thing. Such a hard thing to maintain. Why?
Contentment requires rest. Intentionality. Thankfulness. All difficult things to cultivate. But with Christ’s help and by abiding in Him contentment is possible! Believe it mama! You can be content and joyful in whatever circumstances you are in if you LEARN (like Paul did). It’s a process. It is not natural. It must be learned and practiced.
I read this “prescription for contentment” this morning from the book Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow and I just had to share it with you mamas! As a side note, anxiety and discontentment are deeply connected. Practice contentment and you will find your anxiety decrease.
A woman’s prescription for contentment:
Never allow yourself to complain about anything-not even the weather.
Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
Never compare your lot with another’s.
Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
Never dwell on tomorrow-remember that tomorrow is God’s, not yours.
Hmmmmm, seem extreme?? NEVER??? Yep. Contentment is extreme. It’s polar opposite of what your flesh wants and what the world promotes. We have to be extreme in order to combat discontentment. So you in? One day at a time we can put into practice this prescription for contentment and watch our hearts and minds change.
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 1I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
p.s. Have you checked out my new devotional book?? Would love for you to get a copy and be encouraged to keep your minds on eternity in the midst of the temporal and mundane. CLICK HERE TO CHECK IT OUT!
“The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender.” Proverbs 22:7
Don’t be a slave! Choose the path less traveled! Choose the hard path and be blessed.
Don’t buy it unless you NEED it. Seems simple right? But who really does this??? What do you NEED? Food. Clothes. Electricity. Hmmm, not another black shirt or another pair of flats or another toy your kid won’t play with.
Talk to your spouse about every purchase that isn’t food. Seems extreme right? I’m telling you, this was our biggest game changer! It all started when I came home with 5 buckets I had purchased from Wal-Mart. I walked in and my husband reminded me we had like 10 downstairs. Oops. So often we aren’t aware of what we already have… or we are convinced we “need” something when our spouse might disagree and give us a different, helpful perspective.
Keep the BIG picture in mind. There’s a bigger picture than that impulsive buy you really want. Your grandchildren for example. Did you know how you spend money impacts not only your kids but your grand kids…and possibly their kids?! Yep. Your choices never just impact you. Generations will reap what you sow. Do you want your kids and their kids to embrace debt and see it as “the only way”. No! Of course not! We don’t want our children being slaves to anyone but Christ. So live it out NOW! Choose to not be a slave to debt today and watch it change your tomorrow and your children’s children.
Remember it’s not your money. Nothing you have belongs to you if you call yourself a child of God. When you chose to be His you gave Him all of you and everything that you have. Think of that next time you go to buy another coffee that you know you could make yourself at home. (Nothing wrong with buying coffee every once in a while… but everyday?? Especially when you are in debt??)
Be a weirdo. Yep. You read that right. Be the weird one at the restaurant that gets ice water so you don’t have to contribute to the bill. Go to be with them for fellowship and save money while you’re at it. Be the one that skips out on going to the theater because your main goal right now is to get out of debt! Look for little and big ways all day to save money. You may be weird but that’s ok because debt is normal! And you don’t want normal! “Live like no one else so you can live like no one else.” -Dave Ramsey
Maybe you’re thinking: “Oh yeah! What do you know?!!” Welp. I’m a spender. A big waster. But by God’s glorious grace I married a saver. A frugal man. He has influenced me to live out the 5 points above. They don’t come naturally but I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to no longer be a slave to debt! We now own two homes with no mortgages and have no other debt of any form! We have been single income for our whole marriage and not with money-making jobs either! (Ahem, Pastor and Teacher 🙂
My heart is for you!! I want you to see the value in living debt free. The value in the long-term rather than those short-term indulgences! Here’s to a debt free life! 2019 is your year to get started!
We have a rule in our home for gifts for our kids: no batteries. It’s been tough sometimes but I feel like I have perfected our Christmas shopping with no batteries involved!
Here is what I bought THIS year for my kiddos to help keep them off screens and using their imaginations! Oh! And we have simplified toys….AGAIN. The boys are basically down to hot wheels with non-battery tracks and legos. The girls are down to dolls and legos. Both of them have their quiet time caddies that I will discuss in this post as well! Just click on the underlined words below to go to a link to find these great gift ideas!
Come on. I mean who doesn’t buy these? I know. But still! These are a continual go-to for my boys. Pricey? Yes. Worth it? Yes. My boys like to have building competitions and my 2 year old even plays with them. It takes some training to get them to not put them in their mouths but it can be done. I often am the judge of who has the most unique lego creation!
6. QUIET TIME CADDY GOODIES!! What are these all about?? I love these with all my heart…ok, that’s an exaggeration, but they have been great in our home! When it’s chaotic and I am tempted to tell the kids to watch something I say: “Grab your caddy and pick a couch!”
My husband prays EVERY night for the salvation of our children. Is there really anything more important for us to pray as parents? I think not.
But we can’t save them.
We can’t reach into their hearts and cram the gospel in there and make it grow.
We can’t homeschool them as a guarantee that they will receive Christ and follow Him faithfully. (Look at Cain and Abel. The first homeschooled children…one followed faithfully and one brutally murdered his brother.)
We can’t force them into the Kingdom of God.
We can’t coerce them or beg them to be born again.
We can’t make promises that if they say the sinner’s prayer they will never have to fear hell.
We can’t create genuine conviction and repentance in the hearts of our children.
What can we do?
We can pray with and for them.
We can be transparent with them and authentic in our faith sharing our own failings and weaknesses.
We can share the gospel with them over and over and over.
We can faithfully open the Word of God with them every day teaching them and instructing them.
We can and should do a lot of things. But we can’t save our children.
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9
“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9
“And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” Hebrews 11:6
“Jesus answered him, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.'” John 3:3
Rachel Hollis wants to say, “Girl, Wash Your Face.” You should be a girl who reads her Bible.
Dig into it! Study it! Show yourself approved as a daughter of the King!
Be ready to give a defense for the hope that is in you!
In a world where girls can blabber off their favorite worldly t.v. show and secular music artists be the girl that is able to encourage others with scripture you have memorized.
Be the girl that shares biblical counsel rather than worldly cliches.
Be the girl that can offer REAL hope because you know the Lord of lords and recognize that it is His ways, not the world’s, that will truly bring about lasting change in yours and others lives!
In a world where girls spend hours and hours learning how to put on their makeup and dress in a way that gets all the “wows” be the girl that seeks to have a gentle and quiet spirit because you know that that is what your God sees as true beauty.
In a world where girls are continually looking for ways to look younger be the girl that embraces signs of aging recognizing that gray hairs, according to your Maker, are a sign of wisdom.
In a world where girls are more confused and depressed than ever be the girl who recognizes where true joy comes from! Point these sad, tired, lonely girls toward the One that made them and knows their every need and desire and longs to fulfill them in a way this world never can!
In a world full of girls, be a woman.A woman after God’s own heart. A woman that seeks to be biblical, not trendy. Lovely, not sexy. Calm, not anxious. Be the woman who makes heads turn not because your clothing is so immodest revealing your body but because there is just something about you that screams: “I’m different! I am not so concerned about washing my face as I am about the things of God!”
Girl, go read your bible and while you’re at it look for people to serve.
Many Christian women wonder: “Do I have any say? I know I’m supposed to submit, but does my opinion even matter?!”
Of course your opinion matters. My husband often says that after the Holy Spirit and Word of God the wife should have the loudest voice in her husband’s life.
Here are a few problems though:
1. Women are controlling.It’s true. And if you think you aren’t then read Genesis 3:16 where it says that part of the curse is for us women to “desire our husbands but they shall rule over us.” Since it’s part of the curse this surely isn’t talking about us desiring them emotionally or physically, nope, it’s a desire to control. Look up Genesis 4:7. God uses the EXACT SAME HEBREW WORD for desire when He is talking to Cain about sin’s desire for him. Does sin desire us in some lovely way? No. Sin wants to control us and take over our lives…like many wives want to do to their husbands. We have to control that sinful desire rather than seeking to control our husbands.
2. Women are often nags. We just don’t know when to stop. The bible says we are to follow our husband’s lead. We are to adapt to him, not the other way around. But we like to push and push and sometimes push some more, often in manipulative ways. Each husband has a different threshold for nagging 🙂 Some men are just too passive to speak up and let their wives know. I like to ask my husband if I am approaching the nagging line and he lets me know. I have also given him permission to tell me no more talking about certain subjects if I am just pushing it too much.
3. We think we want our husbands to lead but usually we just want them to lead the way we would lead. This is just another form of control. I am guessing if most women who whine about their husbands not leading got to experience what that is like for even a week they would find out quickly it’s a lot harder than they imagined since our husbands leading often means us not getting what we want. Which leads me to number four.
4. Submission means NOT getting what you want. When God calls us to submit, He’s requiring that we bend when we don’t want to. He’s calling us to put ourselves under our husbands when we don’t agree. If we agreed that would be agreement, not submission.
5. Many women are overly concerned with how their husbands are failing and not concerned enough with how they are failing.Yes, your husband is not loving you perfectly like Christ loves the church, how are you doing with submitting to him as the church is to submit to Christ? Do you think you would be a lot better at it if he were a better husband? Well, you are called to submit to Christ every day and He is the perfect Husband and you fail in that…I fail in that, EVERY day. Don’t blame your husband. Blaming our husband’s for our lack of submission gets us no where but bitter.
After reviewing these five problems and prayerfully considering them I would say women are in a better mindset to “voice their opinion.” Usually voicing our opinion is a form of control, nagging, not wanting our husbands to lead and not being willing to submit. But, sometimes, we are genuinely passionate about something and rightfully so! Like moving. That’s a huge decision. When we were considering moving to WA from CA I voiced my opinion clearly but I told my husband in the end: “Ultimately this up to you, it’s on your shoulders and I will support your decision.” We need to have that attitude of support.
Other times maybe we are voicing our opinion on something we do or don’t want to do. Sometimes we are being flat out selfish. Sometimes we are genuinely concerned… only we can know our true motives. One time I voiced my opinion about something to my husband and I made it clear that I was concerned of having a panic attack if we did it. I wasn’t being manipulative or selfish, I just didn’t want to lose my mind. I have had 2 of those in my life and I am finding my threshold for things is lessening as I have more kids (I have 7 children ages 10 and under right now). My husband knows this about me and out of his love for me and wanting to take care of me as Ephesians 5 instructs him to do. he “submitted” and didn’t move forward out of concern for me.
Some of you are married to non-believers. This changes things drastically. In 1 Peter 3 God says the best way to “win your husband over” is without words. That’s right, words don’t work. He says your godly behavior is what will win him over. Nagging him, controlling him, complaining to him…are not godly behaviors. Submitting, encouraging and supporting him are godly behaviors. Does this mean to submit to abuse? No, by all means talk to your pastor about how to be safe and do what is necessary.
Too many of us wives are more concerned about our agendas and plans rather than God’s. We are very anxious about whether or not we will get our way. May we repent of that and see God’s desires for our lives and marriages!! His desire is to make us holy, not necessarily happy. We as wives are to picture the church’s relationship to Christ. A gentle, submissive spirit is how the church is to be toward Christ, not a rebellious, obsessive spirit that dominates and controls. May we be better at saying “Thy will be done” rather than constantly saying in different ways: “My will be done”.
The Lord will bless us as we submit to our husbands and seek to make God’s agenda our agenda. His agenda is for us to adapt to our husbands and have a gentle and quiet spirit that trusts in Him.
This is my least favorite. It really was death of a vision.
I have done four hospital births and two home births. I wanted this one to be at a birthing center and thought it would be the best of both worlds. I could get away and have someone take care of me and not have people bugging me constantly.
I started having contractions that were noticeably different Sunday morning. I sat through my husband’s preaching and had to close my eyes a few times 🙂 My five year old was sitting next to me and said: “Mama! Open your eyes!” (Didn’t want me sleeping through daddy’s sermon).
I came home and thought: “Hmmm, might be today!” But… the contractions were so sporadic.
Sunday night around 7 p.m. my family went to evening service and I stayed home with somewhat painful, erratic contractions. We decided to have my kids go stay at my inlaws and my sister’s house in case I went into labor at 2 a.m.
Welp, 2 a.m. rolled around and we decided to go to the birthing center. I had anxiety about it because my contractions were still… strange… all of my labors up to this one have been very similar but his one was…different and just not progressing like the others have…
I was a four when I got to the birthing center…I laid in the bed and it felt like the labor really slowed down… It was stressful because I felt like I was wasting the midwives’ time. At about 4 a.m. I asked my midwife what I should do. She gave me some tincture (cedarwood maybe?) and told me to take a shower and rub my chest to stimulate contractions. I did that and after only two doses of the tincture and a shower I felt like things were changing. I got back in bed to get ready and sure enough I felt a BIG one coming… BAM! My water broke with that contraction and my midwife came in. We both seemed excited and I knew things were progressing…but then…we saw the meconium. She looked at me and asked: “Did you have an ultrasound recently?” Me: “No…” having no idea why she asked that… She said she wanted to check me again… I laid down and she said: “Katie, I’m so sorry but your baby is breech and we can’t legally deliver her. You’re going to have to go to a hospital and I am guessing they will want to do a c-section.”
I was bummed….but said: “Ok, let’s go then…” We pulled up to the ER and went in. I was trying my hardest not to cry and keep my sense of humor going. When the midwives said: “I’m so sorry.” I just replied: “I’m ok, God is sovereign over all of this.” That was really the only thing comforting me at the time. Knowing that God knew Ruby would enter the world via c-section.
I got checked into my room and the Dr. came in and said: “Hello, I am the one doing your surgery today.” No questions like: “Would you like a c-section?” Nope. I was going into surgery and that was it. Unfortunately, I was ready to go at 7 a.m….right when everyone switches shifts so I had to labor for another hour while everyone got checked in and ready.
By the time they were wheeling me into the operating room I was full on shaking… I usually do that right before I start pushing. Bummer.
They did the spinal tap. Creepy. And I laid down to get cut open.
I was still shaking hardcore and it was not a good feeling to think people would be cutting into me while I was shaking…. I started dry heaving over and over but couldn’t throw up. It was terrible. For anyone who thinks a c-section is the “easy way out”, think again…
After some serious tugging I got to see my sweet Ruby Nell. They held her up to the plastic screen and I started to cry… believe it or not that was the first time I cried when seeing my baby. Usually I was almost giggly and would say things like: “My baby! My baby! Look at my baby!” 🙂 But I think all that bundled up emotion came spilling out when I finally got to see her.
They had to take her aside and do breathing treatment on her as well as pull out lots of stuff from her lungs. I didn’t get to hold her or have her next to me till after I was all stitched up. When they finally plunked her on my chest I was so ecstatic.
They wheeled me back into the room where I started throwing up…not sure what that was about.
We got wheeled from that room to a recovery room and it was a lovely room.
The recovery from a c-section has definitely been worse for me physically but for whatever reason my emotional recovery has been my best yet (I have been taking lots of supplements though including ones to improve my gallbladder health…so…who knows?)! I did have two weepy days over having a c-section…wondering if I could have really pushed the hospital and forced them to let me have a breech birth…but I have counseled myself to move on since there is nothing I can do about it now. My midwife did tell me I am a great candidate for a vbac if the Lord should choose to fill my womb again. That’s encouraging.
So. That’s it. My 7th birth. I can’t believe I have done this 7 times. It really feels like my 3rd time. I still feel like a “new mom” 🙂